As much as I hate to admit it, I just turned 27 years old two days ago, 4th of December 2016. And since my birthday happens to be at the first week of the month I decided that a birthday blog would be a cool idea as my first blog post for this month. Unlike any other birthday blogs which pictures and summary of celebration is the topic I would like this post to be different. I wanted to share with you a few learning, realizations and lessons that I have gained these past few years. Although some of you are way wiser and older than me, I still think that this would be an interesting post for everyone since the things that we learn in life are all unique and sharing could possibly help others to learn from our experiences.
Time is indeed so fast, once I was just a girl excited to turn 18 and now I am hoping to go back on my early teens. I remember an incident when I was in 6th grade during our English class. I was looking straight at the wall clock just above the black board but I wasn’t thinking about lunch break or recess. I was imagining my future (like I would always do to escape all those boring classes) dreams and plans. Calculating my age and contemplating the amount of success I should attain at a certain age.I remember telling myself that when I turn 24 I should already have my own house, car and family. But here I am, three years behind on my own ideal age of attaining the LIFE I always dreamed of.
I thought it was that easy, I thought dreaming is enough, I thought every plans that we create in our heads could easily be turned into reality but I was wrong!
As I continue to walk my own journey of life I experience disappointments, wrong turns, bad decisions, pain, happiness, joy, laughter, success and so much more emotions but most of all
I continue to experience FAILURE!
It is very difficult to accept failure, especially if you did what you can and yet the end result is not the one that you thought you deserve. It makes you weak, it makes you dream and work less, it makes you lose your belief in yourself and most of all, it makes you want to quit. I learned though that failure should not stop us. Instead it should push us to strive more, to work better and to keep moving forward!
Easy to say right? I know! I know! because I myself quit dreaming a few years ago and settled on what is comfortable because I was afraid to fail again. I was afraid to see the disappointment on my parents’ face… very scared.. So I stayed on my comfort zone.. Isn’t it sounds easy and safe? Yes!! Absolutely!
But everyday, I ask myself the same question: “Is this the life that you want to live forever?”
And my answer would always be the same… Always!!
NO!!! HELL NO!!
But again, I was scared to dream again. Just recently though, I dared myself to finally move. To take action, to be in control AGAIN and I can bravely say that I am moving forward bit by bit. At that point I realized that if I continue to embrace my fear of failure then when can I ever achieve success?
I learned that if we crave for success we should also be brave to overcome failure.
Failure should not stop us from dreaming even if it means trying again and again and again!
Failure is one of the most important ingredients of life because without it, one can never understand the essence of hard work.
You see, failure is being or have been experienced by every human being in this world, the only difference is how we react with these failures. How we use these failures, looses and bad decisions is totally up to us and I encourage everyone (especially myself) to use all of these to better ourselves and our future.
Another thing that I want to share with you guys is this mantra I created a few years ago. I promised myself that I will not celebrate my birthday if I feel like I wasn’t able to accomplish something. I tried to practice this mantra for the past few years but of course I always fail since my family (most especially!) and friends would always insist for a celebration since birthdays only comes once a year. I would always give in but in my heart I am completely against it feeling that I don’t deserve any celebration.
But do I recommend this kind of belief to anyone?
I now believe that that mantra is totally stupid and selfish. I was so blinded by my desire to succeed that I overlooked everything small details that I have accomplished.
Maybe it is human nature… we always yearn for something more. Enough is really never enough! We are never satisfied.
And because of this mentality we tend to be so difficult on ourselves and neglect every small details that actually helps us to succeed in life.
It’s okay to be focused but not to the extent that we forget to reward ourselves or appreciate every step we took.
After all, great success is made by all of the small steps we took throughout our life.
So we need to appreciate and celebrate every success in life be it small or big. We worked hard on it. It’s no crime to pat our backs.
How about FORGIVENESS?
Well,this may sound difficult to some of you but I am blessed that I am able forgive easily. I am not one who holds grudges or one who holds on to anger too long. My friends would always say that I am moody because I can really get pissed or snap easy but after a few minutes I would be okay, laughing with them as if nothing happened. Same thing with my colleagues, after a discussion or a small conflict, I could really be aggressive in terms of the words I say but would later on solve the conflict right away.
I hate the feeling of being angry, upset or mad so I try my hardest to continue practice forgiveness and understanding in all areas of my life. It is sometimes very difficult but allowing anyone to consume you with anger will NEVER do you good both emotionally and mentally.
The best learning is being KIND to others. You see, life is a cycle. You’ll never know if the ones you are stepping in to now could be the person who can help you in the future. Being kind may sound difficult but is actually one of the easiest acts to do. We just have to be more understanding.
I would like to end this by saying that we should always show our love to our family. I am guilty of neglecting my parents and siblings when I was younger because my so called friends were way more important than anyone else. I was VERY WRONG. Our family will always be here for us no matter what. They will always have our backs regardless if we are wrong or wright. Don’t be scared to show your affection to them.
“Our family are the most important people in our lives!”
Treasure them and spend more time with them
This is getting really long (as always! lol!) so I would end just end it by saying a few more words. (LOL!!)
Life is very short so make the most of everything we have! Enjoy every single moment of our lives and create good memories every single day! Always choose to be happy and love everyone around you!
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Arlene Kischaen Aboli