“Understanding over Hatred”


In this chaos called life we stumble upon people who would choose to destroy and degrade us.

They’ll do things and say words to shame us.

Once in this situation, it’s then our choice to either accept their actions with understanding or hatred.

It’s on our hands to either repay them with kindness or curse them in return.

How we react is our own decision.

As for me, I had my fair share of these kind of people.

And I must admit, out of anger

I use to choose hatred over understanding,

I chose to shout profanities rather than whisper prayers of forgiveness.

Yet as I age,

as life introduces me to different kind of people,

as I experience difficulties, failures and triumphs,

as I start to face and feel different kind of emotions I had never felt before,

the more I learned to understand.

I learned that how we respond to these kind of people tells a bigger story about ourselves and never about them.

I learned that no matter how we try to show kindness, people will still harm us.

I learned that even when we choose to forgive people who mistreated, betrayed and wronged us people would still continue to shame us.

I learned that even after choosing silence over resentment people will still easily point their fingers at you, blaming you for mistakes they caused themselves.

Most of all,

I learned that these people’s decisions, actions and words to spite us does not matter.

What matters most is how we react.

How we respond.

So as difficult as it may be I encouraged everyone (including me) to try and understand these kind of people. (They need it more than we do.)

Know that hatred can never be resolved with another hatred.

Pain can never be erased by hating people in return.

Remember that when people choose to degrade you, they are painting their own personality and not yours.

Understand their position, their situation. (They might be going through a lot and is unknowingly causing us harm.)

After being judged and mistreated,

never forget that these people’s opinion about you and your life is irrelevant.

Let them choose to speak evil.

Let them spread anger.

Let them consume their life with so much hatred.

Let them put all the blame on you.

But never ever forget to understand the reason behind their actions.

It’s not being weak.

It’s being wise on choosing a battle that needs your attention and energy.

Accept the fact that punishment is not in our hands.

God is our witness.

He knows when and who to execute.

Our part is to learn not to harm others.

To be kind when it’s impossible to be one.

To forgive after being injured.

To profess words of wisdom and not words to destroy.

To NEVER hate but to understand that everyone reacts to circumstances differently.

To always understand that other people’s misbehaviour can NEVER define you.

NEVER consume yourself with words made by people who knows nothing about you and your journey.

Choose to move forward instead.

Leave them obehind.

Let them continue to destroy their own.

Choose to step forward on your journey towards a better future.


Forgive them.

(Photo grabbed from Pinterest: credits to the owner)

Much love beautiful people,


Arlene Kischaen Aboli

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  • Grandtrines
    October 13, 2016 at 5:52 AM

    Reblogged this on Still Another Writer's Blog.

  • “Mystery Blogger Award” – thatgirlArlene
    December 15, 2016 at 12:30 AM

    […] “Understanding over Hatred” […]

  • RheaAngeline
    February 27, 2017 at 3:02 PM

    So much positivity and humility. This is so nice! 🙂

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