It was a beautiful and sunny Saturday afternoon and yet I’m one of the unlucky people who is stuck inside the office to do some work. Throughout the morning I would constantly look outside the window and wish I’m out to enjoy the weather and so during my lunch break, I grabbed my purse and headed out.
I sigh in relief as I feel the subtle summer heat on my skin. The weather was perfect! Sunny but not humid. I walked straight to a chocolate shop called Le Comptoir Chocolat across the street which has the best Caramel Ice Cream in my opinion. I sat down inside the shop for a while and admired their beautiful interior including their lavishly priced chocolates before deciding to step out to enjoy more sunshine.
Once outside, I put on my earphones, put my music on shuffle- volume is normally set to the maximum and started my short stroll. As I’m enjoying my caramel ice cream, the voice of Dan Seals singing “One Friend” started to play.
I was surprised that I still have this song saved on my phone as I have not hear it for a while but then I realized that I never really updated my playlist. This song reminded me of my childhood friends since we’ve always labeled this as our theme song (chessy I know!). Whenever I missed them, I would just listen to this song and reminisce on all our beautiful memories. Life and our dreams has separated us all as we are now all living in different parts of the world, yet deep in our hearts, we still feel connected and bonded. I know we are still and will forever be friends, sisters even and this song is a constant reminder of that beautiful reality.
Today was different though, this song somehow reminded me of some of the people I’ve met these past few years, one’s I use to call friends but now I’m estranged with.
I remembered the late night conversations, the parties we attended to, the dinners, barbecue parties, Christmas parties, window shoppings, summer strolls and sleepovers. I remembered how at some point they became the shoulders that I used to lean on, the ears that listened to all my sad and happy stories, the hands that used to wipe my tears and the voices who gave me strength.
I remembered how we vowed on giving each other the best bridal shower and baby showers in the future. We giddily planned the play dates of our future children and promised that they’re all going to be friends just like their mommies.
I remembered all the grey days we individually experienced but were able to survived because we all supported each other. I remembered when a very serious conversation can turn to a comedy because we all refused to embrace sadness and defeat. We always reminded each other about the positive sides of everything and focused on what the future might bring.
I remembered all our dream vacations that never actually happened from year to year and then we would jokingly blame each other for all the broken plans.
I remembered their smiles, our smiles. I remembered their laughs, our laughs. I remembered their cries, our cries. I remembered every single thing. But all of those are gone!
Because now, we all have our own lives. Completely different from what we use to imagine. The friendship no longer visible in any aspect of our day to day life. All the memories both good and bad seems so ancient- foreign even.
What went wrong?
I honestly don’t know. Maybe some friendships are not destined to last no matter how beautiful it was once. At the end of the day, we all have our own destinations and we unfortunately have to leave some people behind in order to move forward.
Maybe we chose to end the frienship like this because we didn’t agree on some things. We never spoke about it, we kept quite until the relationship started to fade.
Maybe we were surprised on some of each others decisions and choices and we just decided to leave them behind.
Maybe we forgot about each other because we were all excited on making new beginnings with new people.
Maybe we never really included each other in our future.
Maybe we never really listened when one tried to reach out, to reconnect.
Maybe, we just gave up!
My wandering mind was finally interrupted by Daddy Yankee’s song-“Ven Conmigo”.
I looked at the time and had to run back in the office as fast as I could but making a note in my mind that I probably have to update my playlist!
Arlene Kischaen Aboli