And yet there are days when I sat quietly and the darkness you brought is all that its in my mind.
The story of pure deceit caused by pure greed and selfishness is all that I can see.
The tangle of words made to cover up the truth is all that I can hear.
And there it was, that feeling that only you made me experienced— RAGE!
A vivid colour of black is clouding my entire being once again.
“How could you?!”, “How dare you!”.
You made me experience fury over and over again.
I never thought such hatred existed until I learned the extent of how much you wronged me.
You could’ve spared me with all the shame and pain if only you chose to be human.
But it was easier for you to play other people’s lives and emotions.
It was easier for you to continue causing harm for no valid reasons.
For a second you played God,
You took the role of controlling every part of a tragic story you directed.
It was so easy for you to stain other people’s dignity just to satisfy your unending hunger for pleasure.
You were delighted to watch people hold on to your words even with the knowledge that all of these are sheer lies.
Haven’t you heard of the word “conscience” before?,
You were just a history, a chapter long gone and forgotten and yet the scars will forever be marked in my mind for as long as time exists.
Although the curtain has long been drawn to end this nightmare, I am still haunted by a million questions and words to say to the one who ultimately showed me how evil humanity could become.
How did it feel to be in control in a situation only you could ever be satisfied?
How did it feel to watch people crumble in pain as a result of your selfishness while you sit and wait for your next charade?
How did it feel to be a hero in this comedy you created?
Pretending as if you were never vain.
Pretending to be the perfect victim.
I see you haven’t understand the extent of this storm you caused.
How can God even allow you to live freely?.
And as much as I beg the God of Gods to have the privilege of choosing the best medicine for someone who felt untouchable, I know that this is not in my hands.
I find peace knowing that He knows what’s best.For God’s vengeance is much more painful than any human’s measure of revenge.
And when that day finally comes for you to experience the pain of your own catastrophe, I long to be able to witness you weep. I would ask you a few burning questions:
“How does it feel to be helpless?”
“How does it feel to cry for mercy when no one else wants to listen?”
“How does it feel to drown in so much loneliness?”
“How does it feel to beg for help when everyone you trusted turned their backs?”
“How does it feel to shout because of so much pain and yet nobody understands?”
“How does it feel to finally feel?”
“Does it hurt?”
Now, look back, look back at that time when you were enjoying every ounce of all your lies. Look back at that time when you were dancing with pure delight in your own universe after showering the innocent with your deceit.
Now, look at me straight in the eyes,
“Knowing what you know now and having been experienced God’s wrath, was it all worth it?”
“With the awareness that a life was lost as a result of your injustice tell me, “Was it all worth it?”
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Arlene Kischaen Aboli