Redundant but it’s true- time flies so so fast! It still feels like yesterday when I was sitting quietly in one of my classes back in sixth grade. I was trying to look like I was listening intently to my teacher’s lecture but the truth is- I wasn’t even mentally there, I was exactly 15 years ahead from the present. It’s one of those days when I couldn’t comprehend why I had to get up so early to go to school, I just couldn’t wait to eventually graduate. In my young mind I planned my future. I thought, at 12 years old I’d graduate from Elementary, at 16 years old I’d graduate from High School and at 20 I’d graduate from College. Then I will find a job or maybe start my own business so I could help out my parents since I am their first born and then save money. At 27 I’d have a stable career, my own car, house and my very own family.
December 4, 2017 came and I turned 28. It was 10:00 AM when I finally awoke. I thought I deserve to sleep in because it’s my birthday and my schedule has been so hectic for the past few weeks that my body is aching for some rest yet at the same time, I didn’t want the day to end without me spending it “wisely“. Then for some odd reasons, my mind took me back 16 years ago in that very same classroom back when I was in sixth grade. I smiled and hoped that I could go back and talk to my twelve year old self. I’d tell her that her plan didn’t came true, it stayed the way it is- just a plan.
Then for a few minutes, I had to do a very quick reality check and then asked myself. “What if I tried harder?, Would I be able to achieve that plan or maybe more in the same timeline I gave myself?”. I stared blankly in the thin air because I have no definite answer but I realized something…
We will not achieve or get every single thing that we’ve planned in life!
And I honestly believe that it’s not always a bad thing because the truth is, we can never really tell what the future will bring us. We can envision ourselves to be someone who we thought is ideal or to end up with someone who’s perfect in our eyes and standards yet at the end of the day, we will not always get the exact same thing we thought we deserve. C’est La Vie!
At 28, I realized and learned so much things in life and I know, I am yet to learn so much more about it. But I want to believe that at 28, I’ve completely grown as an individual with her own mind, opinions, convictions and choices. I am my own! I am my own life! I hold my own future!
At 28, I have failed to achieve most of my childhood dreams, dreams I thought was so easy to achieve. In my young mind, I thought I was unstoppable, I thought I can achieve every single thing, I thought I can do so many great things… I thought I can have it all but I was completely wrong!
At 28, I’ve faced so many road blocks in my career and personal life. These left me with scars that will forever stay in my skin, pain that will forever be carved in my heart, disappointments that will always be in my mind, failures that still sometimes discourage me to move forward and regrets that still cripples me at times.
Yet at 28, I’ve learned to accept every single thing that life throws me because all of these or maybe most of these are results of my very own decisions. Decisions that are sometimes driven by so much emotions which in the end can cause me more pain or disappointment but I learned to accept and embrace all of it because I know that everything will be better tomorrow.
At 28, I’ve learned that nothing last forever including disappointments including every bit of pain we face in our lives. Sometimes, we tend to believe that our life is over because of something that we didn’t achieve or because of something that we lost. Wrong! This phase will soon be over and life will go back to normal or maybe even better!
At 28, I’ve learned that life goes on. It’s okay not to be okay, at some point in our lives we would all experience pain, failures and disappointments that will cause us to be unhappy and that’s perfectly fine. One day, we will learn to accept it, learn from it, let go and eventually move on. Maybe life is really like that, it will let you fall and bruise so many times until you learn your lessons.
At 28, I’ve learned that life is not perfect and I’m okay with that because perfect is boring. I always look for adventure, for something new, for new challenges.
At 28, I’ve learned to let go and hold on. I learned to let go of the things and people that in my opinion won’t let me grow as an individual and I learned to hold on to the things and people that truly made me happy and I focused my attention to them, I seriously wish I had done it earlier!
At 28, I’ve learned to choose my battles. We will meet people here and there that will judge every single thing about your totality and I’ve experienced that a lot before and even until now. When I was a teenager up-to my early 20’s, I would retaliate! Besides, I’m known by the people I’ve encountered in my life to be a person who will never back down and I want to believe that I still am but I learned how to react wiser. I no longer challenge people to have an argument with me or dare people to prove their point to me. Heck! I can’t even afford to get eight hours of sleep everyday so why in the world would I spend one minute of my life trying to engage or pay attention to all of these nonsense and negativities? In the end, we all have our own opinion and everyone is entitled to it. Unfortunately some people chose to assume and that’s okay but I simply no longer have the energy and time to be argumentative or to even hold long conversations. I’d rather live peacefully and in harmony because I know that I did not intentionally hurt or offended anyone and I find no reasons to explain myself to anyone except my parents. Besides, their’s are only words with no basis. It’s very uninteresting and will never make anyone flourish.
At 28, I’ve learned that there are endless opportunities and possibilities out there so it’s not good to box yourself on the things that you already know or you’re already familiar with. Sometimes, we have to jump even if we’re scared because by doing this, we can improve ourselves, explore and be better!
At 28, I’ve learned to accept my destiny. Sometimes I still think that I could’ve done better in the past but reality is, we can never bring back the past but we can improve the present and the future which means we can still try to achieve the things that we’ve always dreamed or yearned for.
At 28, I’ve learned that we have so many chances for second chances. I learned to never give up because I can and will try again until I get the result that I want. It is important of course to always work hard, to be willing to change and improve yourself.
At 28, I’ve learned that other people’s opinion about me, my life and my past is nothing but garbage! If there’s one person who knows and understands my journey from scratch, it will only be me so other people’s words does not bother me a single bit because they’re ignorant about the reality.
At 28, I’ve learned to just go for it! With my dreams, plans and every single bit about life. You see, we don’t have so much time in this world. Life is very short so I’d rather chase my heart’s desires including everything that life has to offer.
At 28, I’ve learned to always choose happiness. Again, life is short so why spend it being miserable and sad? Why choose all the negativity when I can surround myself with pure happiness? I’d rather choose to live a short but happy life rather a long but sad life.
Most importantly, at 28, I learned the art of not giving a damn! If it doesn’t interest me, do me or other people good, I won’t flinch! I won’t even raise a finger! It bores me! There’s so much interesting things to do in life than accepting nonsensical notions or opinions.
At 28, Ive accepted my future. Whatever happen happens! I’m not going to imprison myself with any idealism because this cause disappointments.
At 28, I’ve accepted my defeat and misgivings wholeheartedly and I realized that the only way to repair the damages is to be better.
At 28, I realized to always choose positivity and happiness. It makes a whole lot of difference in your day to day life.
At 28, I have learned to be patient with my dreams, with people, with myself and practically every single thing about life. Everything has it’s own time! If you didn’t achieve something today, maybe it still not the right time. Who knows, you might even get something that’s way better than you’ve ever imagined?
In the end, life is not perfect and who says it is anyways? Yet, with all of these imperfections, I learned to live again and to embrace the life I have. It’s far from perfect but I am happier and definitely more content. The future is more promising now and I can’t wait for the next experiences, challenges and stories that I’ll create for the next year or even ten years!
Life is indeed chaotic but absolutely beautiful and magical!