“Coffee Break: Do you believe in Love at First Sight?”

While minding my own business, my youngest sister sat beside me out of nowhere and demanded if she could ask me a question. Without looking at her I just said, “Yeah?”, She then proceeded with her query , “Do you believe in love at first sight?”, I looked at her and said “No!”. She stood up and said “Exactly!” while walking away.

My sister is back at the kitchen making her favorite crepe but her question is still on my mind. I asked myself,

“Do I believe in love at first sight?”

My answer remains the same, No! I believe however that attraction at first sight is absolutely believable but love?… it’s just not possible. I say this because I believe that love is a process, you cannot just love someone you don’t know. You have to discover that person’s personality first which may take some time and then you have to whole heartedly accept their good and bad sides without question. Once you are at that stage where you already accepted that person’s whole being, you should also have a good level of trust to that person and then comes love.

For me, love is something that is not earned or felt over night. You have to go through a few stages first before concluding that you love a person. Let’s be real, if we meet someone the very first thing we notice about them is their appearance, how they dress, how they carry themselves or even their talents then we feel drawn to them and even goes to a point where we really want to know them but this does not mean you’re in love to that person right away because you cannot love a person solely because of what your eyes saw, the right term for this is attraction but never love.

Love is such a strong word and often times mistakenly identified and this is why a lot of relationships fail because of the wrong notion that they’re in love but the truth is they’re just attracted to each other. Once they learn more about the other person, they’ll realize that this is not the person that they signed up for and so they’ll leave. Love for me is developed over time, once you go through a few hardships, arguments and trials together and realized that you still want to be with that person, that is love. Once you get to know that person better and accepted their whole personality including their past mistakes without questions, that is love. If you are ready and willing to face more challenges with that person, that is love. If you are willing to sacrifice what you have for that person, that is love. If you can honestly want to spend your present and future with that person, that is love.

I am guilty of mistaking attraction as love and maybe that’s why my previous relationships never really worked because over time, attraction withers but love mostly won’t. These mistakes however helped me to learn more about love, the kind that is real and pure. I realized, that I never truly loved before since I have never met someone who I can see my future with and who I can fully trust. I haven’t met someone who could make me feel that I am ready to compromise or one that I can fully open myself with without the fear of being rejected.

Again, love is something that is developed over time and is not acquired in just a blink of an eye. Love takes time and that is a reality.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Much love,

Arlene Kischaen Aboli